Grandma

Today we learned that Steve' grandma, Connie Thomsen, went home to be with the Lord. The first time we left for Brasil, she was 93 and still very able to care for herself in her apartment at her retirement home. She was with it mentally and although we knew her age was increasing, we had a certain confidence that we would see her again. One time when I was talking with her, I told her, "Only 18 more months Grandma...hang on til we get there." She would laugh and say she would hang on. We prayed as a family that we might be able to see her once again.

The day arrived that we finally saw her again. We were so glad to be reunited with her. I had this feeling of relief that we made it back to see her, to hug her. I was amazed that her hearing had diminished so much. That made it hard to converse with her. She seemed to be able to hear Steve's voice much better than mine. I was frustrated because I wanted to tell her all about Brasil and our first term. But I was happy just to be able to see her and had to adjust my mind to that.

She was so funny! I remember that first time we saw her again, we sat in the lobby in her retirement home and she introduced us and Jason and Chelsey and I think Dave too. She said, "I have a BIG family." But she wasn't talking about the number of us, but of our sizes. She even put her arms out in front of her, slightly rounded at the elbows to emphasize the word BIG. We all laughed, but inwardly were thinking, "Thanks for pointing that out grandma!" It actually was funny. As she got older, her editing ability didn't work as well.

During our year in the states, we saw a decline in her memory and eventually it became apparent that she needed to go to the assisted living side of her residence. Our prayer to see her again had been answered, for which we were so thankful, and so we began to ask the Lord to take her home while we were in the states. We were praying that we would be able to be part of the end and closure to her life. In May we moved her to the assisted living side, in June she went to the hospital with a deep tissue infection in her leg, and in July she spent a week in the hospital with a urinary tract infection and a suspected TIA. That stint in the hospital was really difficult on her. We saw her decline even more rapidly. At the same time, we saw our time in the states coming to a close and were more fervent in our prayers for the Lord to take her home while we could still participate physically in the closure of her life.

One time in June, I was driving and was thinking about her. I began to cry and grieve that it looked like we would go back to Brasil before the Lord took her home. I had to let go of my desire to still be here when the Lord took her home and accept the fact that He may choose to keep her here on this earth a little longer. But time went on, our return was delayed, and I thought maybe the Lord did have plans to answer our prayer with a yes. Then one morning, August 3rd, Bev, my sister-in-law called me. I fully expected her to tell me that Grandma was gone, but instead, she told me that her son had passed away. WHAT??? Soo not what I was expecting to hear. What...how....I thought he was getting better???

In dealing with helping Bev with Jason's things and details that needed to be taken care of, as well as trying to pack and plan for our return to Brasil, we went two weeks without seeing Grandma. I felt torn between the things we needed to do and going to see her. I would have cloned myself if it would have been possible. One morning in August, Steve and I went to see her. It was about 10:30 in the morning. We opened the door, saw her walker near her chair, but no Grandma in the chair. Hmm....So we slowly entered the room and saw her laying in her bed. I immediately was alert and looked to her chest to see if it was rising and falling. It was.....wshoo! But then we thought, is she sick? Why is she still in bed? We approached her and she wasn't able to recognize me at first. She called Steve, Harley, which she had been doing the last few times we had seen her. (Harley had been an uncle of hers) I went to the front desk to check with them to see what they had to say. While I was there, Grandma told Steve that she was tired and just wanted to go and see her Lord. When I came back into the room, Steve was choked up as he told me what she said. We prayed that He would just take her....please take her Lord. But He chose to keep her on this earth a little longer. We left that day thinking it would be the last time we saw her. We had plans to check on her later that day, but Steve called the front desk instead to check on her. They told us that at about 3:00 she wanted to get up, get dressed and ended up going to the cafeteria for dinner. What a total change from earlier that day when we thought she was on her death bed.

The next day was her hair appointment. The facility where she lived hadn't been very good at communicating internally and they had missed getting her to her hair appointment two weeks previous. So, we went to check to make sure that happened. There was just something sweet about her after she got her hair done. She looked so elegant and well cared for. It had been quite a while since her hair had been done up pretty. Done up pretty it was! We went into the on-campus beauty shop at the end of her appointment and she sitting all pristine, waiting for someone to take her back to her place. What a change from the day before. Steve and I visited with her a little bit, each took a picture with her, then we wheeled her to her building and right into the dining room, since it was dinner time. We were pleased with how she seemed to be doing, and also resigned to the idea that the Lord was going to keep her here on this earth a little longer. We had to accept that when we said good-bye in just two weeks time, it would be the last time we saw her.

The day before we left to return to Brasil we got a call that she had been taken to the emergency room in the early morning hours due to wheezing. Even though we had a lot to do that day, our final full day in the states, I wanted to drop everything and go be with her. But Bev called to tell us that she was on her way home and doing ok, but showing signs that her body was starting to shut down. We did the things that we needed to do and stuck to our plans to make our last family visit with her the next day, the morning of our last day in the states. That visit was a difficult one. We all cried as we said good-bye, each of our kids hugging her one by one. It was an emotional time, but one that I'll treasure. The Lord had allowed us time with her, allowed us that time to say good-bye, not only because we were leaving to Brasil, but because we knew that she'd be leaving this earth. It could have been that He took her while we were still in Brasil during our first term, but He gave us a year with her and I thank Him for that. But that day, we knew with certainty that it would be the last time we saw her this side of heaven. She had been such a special lady to me, to us, to our family and it was hard to leave her.

Today she entered her eternal home. It's hard to imagine what she's seeing and what she's feeling. It must be amazing. I struggle with the timing of her passing. I ask the Lord, "Why couldn't it have been a month earlier? Why didn't you allow us to be there to be part of the closure?" His answer to me is, "I know what's best. You still are a part of the closure. Don't complain when I've given you so much." I'm sorry Lord, you're right as always. You don't answer to me and of course, you know what's best. I just wish I understood it a little better than I do. I guess as long as you do, then I just need to rest in that and accept it.

I'll miss you Grandma....you were a friend and a great lady. I'll see you sometime down the road. Love you.